Tag: Humor

Punctuation Please

Mcdsign.jpgSaw this sign recently. It is an excellent example of why the apostrophe is the most underappreciated punctuation mark in the English language.  Unlike commas and semi-colons that are over-rated the apostrophe is often overlooked.  Omitting one tiny little apostrophe drastically changed the meaning of the sign. Of course the author of the sign could be taunting potential employees that they no are longer are hiring.  That would be an interesting approach to recruiting staff. However, I think the author probably meant “We’re hiring” or “we are hiring”

 

 

TDZ Retrospecitve: A Presidential Candidate I Can Endorse

As you know 2016 is an election years and the politicians are already at it. I’ve decided TDZ will support the same candidate as in 2012.

I find all of the political ads during an election year a bit tiresome. It has taken a lot of research.

TDZ Retrospective: Itchy Tags

Itchy tagsAnother of my favorites originally posted December 19, 2007.  Oh, yeah I’m still battling those itchy tags.

I’m trying to work  but unfortunately I’m distracted by an itchy tag. There is nothing worse than creating the optimal work environment only to be distracted by something as trivial as an itchy tag. I just hate the little tags in the back of shirt collars. So, if one tag isn’t bad enough some shirts have a tag on the side as well.

Recently, I found some shirts that were advertised as being “tag-less”. Sounded like a great solution to the itchy tag dilemma. Well, I bought a couple of tag-less shirts and took them home. The shirt had a tag stamped on the inside of the shirt.

The day came when I decided to try out one of my new miracle tag-less shirts. Imagine a day of no distractions due to itchy tags. Well, I put on my miracle shirt and begin my day. I’m deep in concentration about something and all of sudden I feel an itchy tag. Oh no, how can that be, I’m wearing my miracle tag-less shirt. After some serious investigating I discover that my “miracle tag-less shirt” has a tag located on the side. The tag on the side of the shirt is much worse than the back of the shirt. If a shirt has a tag on the side how can it be considered tag-less? Tag-less means zero, nada no stinking tags on the shirt!

TDZ Retrospective: Funny Preacher Stories

church.jpgOriginally Posted July 6, 2007

My granddad was a preacher. Actually he was my great-granddad. Granddad had a great sense of humor. Mealtimes were quite enjoyable especially when Granddad started telling stories. He had quite a collection of funny preacher stories. Usually his stories involved rookie preachers. By this time he had been a preacher for over 50 years. He was sort of a mentor for the rookie preachers. Most of the young preachers came from a nearby seminary and were also students.Granddad was a country preacher and many of the rookie preachers were from the city. One of my favorite stories involved one of these city boys. He had taken a new preacher to a little country church for services. It was summer and the church had no AC so all of the doors and windows were open. Well everything was going fine and the young preacher was doing well until in walked a skunk. The skunk paraded right down the aisle towards the pulpit. The young preacher noticed the skunk. He cautiously looked around the church for reactions from the congregants. To his surprise no one else seemed to even notice the skunk. Uneasily the preacher decided to ignore the skunk and keep preaching. Well the skunk kept on moving toward the front of the church. This plan seemed to be working until the skunk reached the platform and headed for the pulpit. Now the young preacher was really nervous. He scanned the audience for some sort of reaction. Surely someone in the congregation had noticed by this time. The audience appeared attentive but yet oblivious to the dilemma of the young preacher. The skunk moved closer to the preacher. Finally, the time for action had arrived and the preacher decided he had to do something immediately. He vaulted over the pulpit and ran out the back door.

Once outside he took a few minutes to catch his breath as he waited for others to follow. Several minutes passed and no one else followed. He decided to check out the situation. Cautiously he approached the door and peaked inside. What he saw amazed him, the congregation was still seated inside as if nothing had happened.

A few minutes later one of the deacons walked out of the church holding the skunk. By this time the young preacher was extremely nervous and very confused. The deacon looked at the preacher and said I guess no one told you about the neighbor’s pet skunk.

TDZ Retrospective

July is birthday month for TheDeeZone.  This version of TDZ started in July 2007.  I have been blogging in some form since 1996. It is hard to believe that it has been almost 20 yrs. Back then it was called blogging but that’s what I did.

So in honor of TDZ’s birthday for the remainder of July or until I get bored, whichever comes first. Since I have ADHD it will probably be the latter. I’ve decided to re-post some of my favorites from the past eight years.

Well on with the show.

Basic Cat Care Tips and Other Rantings

pets.jpgOriginally Posted July 5, 2007.

Buy a dog! A dog is a loyal pet. A cat thinks you are its loyal subject.

This short but humorous blog was originally posted on Helium.com. In its prematurely short life this little blog climbed to the top of the ratings. Obviously, other readers recognized and enjoyed the intended humor. Alas, one day it began to sink in the ratings until it was number 17 of 18. Yes, there was a serious post rated even lower. Then one tragic day its life was cut short and it was deleted.

Suddenly a mystery revolved around the disappearing blog. What caused this sweet little blog to be cut short in the prime of its life? Maybe the owner of the #18 blog acted out in despair and pleaded with the authorities to remove the little blog. Or maybe it was a conspiracy by the cat lobby to oppress dog lovers everywhere? Unfortunately we will never know for sure about why such a sweet little harmless blog was singled out for destruction.

This mystery has led me to the following conclusions. Lighten-up folks and learn to recognize a joke. Raise the bar of writing standards and remove the truly deserving offenders. You know the ones, the blogs that fail to follow even the most basic rules of grammar. Or the even more loathsome offenders WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS.

Oh, yeah one more thing . …

… BUY A DOG. — DH

 

Need a laugh?

Ice cubes in a tray
Ice cubes in a tray (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Check out this recipe for ice cubes on Food.com. Be sure to read the comments.

A few of my favorite comments:

I harvest my own free-range water, so the idea of putting it in a plastic tray and a commercially made electricity-wasting freezer disgusts me. I prefer nature’s method, waiting until the temperature outside drops below freezing.

This was so simple to make and absolutely delicious. I used fresh, organic water since we’re both trying to lose weight. Since it didn’t specify how many servings the recipe would make, I doubled the recipe and actually had enough for left-overs. I’m definitely adding it to my list of favorites.

This recipe might be a little too difficult for me! I once tried to make a similar recipe, but it didn’t turn out too well! That recipe was called “Iced Water”. The ingredients were, 1 drinking glass, but it didn’t state what size…ice cubes, which I didn’t know how to make…and tap water, which I don’t have access to because I’m not a tap dancer! So I don’t think I’ll be attempting to make anymore of these types of gourmet recipes!

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Random Pictures: Baptist Donuts?

I’ve decided to start posting a collection of random images I have taken (usually on my phone) that I find amusing or otherwise interesting.

Saw this box and  it made me wonder just exactly what is a Baptist Donuts?

image
Yes, I have an odd sense of humor.