Tonight I received on a message Facebook from one of my friends, EB. It is absolutely hilarious. EB. has given me permission to repost it here. Hope you enjoy it.
Last night after using the toilet (about 9pm), I washed my hands then flushed the toilet, and turned around to pick my clothes up off the floor from my shower an hour earlier. The toilet gurgled a little and then out of the corner of my eye I see something dark in the toilet- knowing I hadn’t just pooed, I knew what ever was coming up wasn’t mine, so I glance over and to my heart stopping surprise, I see a squirrel coming out of the water! I screamed (like a little girl I might add) and then yelled for M. He was in the garage, and Lola (our 2 year old Boxer) was in the back yard. The squirrel then decides to try to climb out of the toilet, so, of course, I scream again and slam the bathroom door shut (keep in mind I’m almost 9 months pregnant so I ’bout had a baby with this sudden surprise, and my heart is pounding in my head- what am i supposed to do?) I run (or waddle quickly) through the kitchen to the garage to get M and tell him there’s a squirrel in the toilet. To which he responds almost sinickly “A squirrel?” “Yes, a squirrel. Not a rat, or a mouse.. a squirrel! A live squirrel came up out of the toilet after I flushed it.” As he walks to the bathroom I let in Lola. Again he says “Seriously, a squirrel?” laughing I say “I’m not kidding”. He’s at the door by now and we can hear it trying to get on the counter and pulling stuff off in its efforts. Lola, of course, hears us saying “squirrel” several times and gets excited and is trying to decide if she should run to the backdoor (where squirrels are supposed to be) or stay there and figure out why we’re standing by the bathroom door saying ” blah, blah, blah…squirrel”.
We close off all the bedroom doors, and then open the front and back doors, I get on the couch and M flings open the bathroom door and steps to the side so Lola can chase it out of the house. And it works like a charm!
Lola froze as the two made eye contact, and then the squirrel runs around the back of the toilet, Lola follows as much as she can, and then it runs behind her, out the door, through the living room and out the front door! Lola on its heals the whole way! It’s too exhausted and half drowned to climb the tree in the front yard, so she caught it pretty quick once they were outside. She chases it around the tree and keeps bumping it with her mouth and nose- mostly playing with it. It then latched onto her front right foot just above the “ankle” and she yelps and tries to get it to let go by biting at it and shaking it, then she steps on its tail with her other foot and tries to pull her right foot away and it still won’t let go, so M kicked it to get it off of her, which pretty much killed it. Sad, but any squirrel that comes in my house, and scares this pregnant lady, kind of had it coming!
While M burries it, I check Lola’s wounds inside. We think it may have bit her cheek a little too, but it didn’t puncture enough to really bleed, only to leave a red mark on her cheek and break the skin on her right ankle. So thankfully she’s okay too, but we’ll be watching her closely the next 2 weeks to be sure it didn’t give her any disease or the wounds don’t get infected in any way.
So we let her sleep inside last night as a reward for being such a good squirrel chaser.
Oh, by the way, all major plumbing areas in your home have a vent that goes up to the roof. Unless you have a screen over the top of it, this could happen to you other home owners too! It apparently crawled in or fell in the vent and then when I flushed the toilet the squirrel swam or floated through the “trap” door in the toilet that opens to let stuff out and came back up with the fresh water. We’re making sure the toilet seats stay down too now.
And guess who’ll be getting a screen or cover for the top of their vents in their home soon?
Hope you enjoyed it!
HT: To EB for the wonderful message.