Top 10: Worst Movies Ever

So, this one is really a worst 10 list.  The Big Guy collaborated with me on this list.

#10: Spaced Invaders – Rotten Tomatoes’ synopsis of this movie should be a clue to how bad it is: “When five of the universe’s coolest aliens crash-land on planet earth, the cosmic crew, piloted by an ultra-hip Martian, ends up in a sleepy mid-western town. Unfortunately, it’s Halloween night and the citizens mistake these spaced invaders for harmless trick-or-treaters.”

Any movie with the premise of aliens confused for trick-or-treaters is not going to be that great, but the terrible acting, bad writing, and horrible special effects combine to make this one of the worst movies in the history of film. – TBG (The Big Guy)

#9:  Solar Crisis – The  plot was so poorly developed that I really couldn’t figure it out. I do know it involved something about the sun going to blow up. A group of astronauts were sent to the sun to stop it. Somehow the space shuttle doesn’t melt or blow up getting to the sun.

By the way, the movie had only 4 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, all rotten. That should be a clue as to how bad this movie really is. – Dee

#8: Inspector Gadget- I enjoyed the Inspector Gadget cartoon as a kid; however, this is one of the worst remakes ever. Starring in the title role, Matthew Broderick, a bumbling detective, is given 14,000 gadgets to help him fight the evil Dr. Claw. A terrible, flat performance by Broderick, a pedestrian script, and poor action sequences ruin a movie that should have been a straight to video release. Whatever you do, pass on this flop and watch the original cartoon if you want to relive the exciting adventures of Inspector Gadget. -TBG

#7: The Four Feathers (1977) – This was one of those movies that I got stuck seeing at a friend’s house.  It was very bad and slow moving.  After the first, 30 minutes or so I even quit trying to pay attention and ended up playing with spades with some friends. I do remember that the person who picked the movie out had to leave early. Probably, got tired of all the complaints.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, the plot involves a British army officer who resigns on the eve of a battle. His niece sends him 4 white feathers indicating she thinks he is a coward.  In turn, he sets out to prove he isn’t a coward and saves the lives of his former comrades.  – Dee

#6: Dudley Do-Right – I enjoyed the cartoon, but this is a terrible live action remake that is almost never funny. Brendan Fraser and Sarah Jessica Parker give flat performances as Dudley Do-Right and his girlfriend, Nell Fenwick. The evil Snidely Whiplash gets Dudley fired and attempts to take over Semi-Happy Valley in the Canadian Rockies. Rated a putrid 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, my only question is: How did 14 percent of critics like this movie? Watch the original cartoons and skip this remake. – TBG

#5: Boris and Natsha: The Movie – Yes that’s right Boris and Natsha from the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon end up in a live action movie. The duo is up to their usual mischief in the real world. Let’s just say that they should have stayed in cartoon land.  – Dee

#4: Super Mario Brothers -It is hard to put into words my disappointment with this movie. Many of the Mario game series are classics such as Super Mario, Paper Mario, and the Smash Brothers games that feature the Mario Brothers. On the other hand, this is probably the worst video game movie I have ever seen. The Uwe Boll movies are close, but this movies terrible plot, painful acting, and pathetic special effects combine to ruin it. Nintendo no longer speaks about the movie, and no plans have been made for another live action Mario movie. –TBG

#3: Ishtar  – Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman play a down and out musical duo that dream of being the next Simon and Garfunkel. The pair accept a gig in Morroco. Before they leave the airport the two get caught up in a revolution attempt. The wacky plot is a lame knock-off of the Hope and Crosby style road movie.

For me the highlight of the movie was that my date paid for it not me.  (Yes, I saw this way back before I even met the Big Guy). – Dee.

#2:  Waterworld – Waterworld is possibly the most expensive movie flop of all-time. Kevin Costner, who generally is best in baseball or Native American movies, thought he could make a post-apocalyptic movie classic. Weather destroyed the original set ballooning the overall cost of the production. Deciding to create a massive set entirely on water further hampered the production. The drab setting, forgettable dialogue, and poor directing sink this vessel. Whatever you do avoid the S.O.S. and move on to another film. Costner has made several bad films, but this one surpasses all the others as the greatest shipwreck in his career. -TBG

#1: Spies Like Us – Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd play a couple of CIA rejects who get caught cheating on their Foreign Service Board exams. Rather than fire them the powers that be select the pair for a decoy mission.  The two are are dumped in Pakistan and wacky journey begins. In the end the two foil a plot to start World War III.

Absolutely the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I saw it at a $1 movie night that included unlimited soda and popcorn. I still overpaid by at least a $1. – Dee