This is something I have been thinking about for several months. Many months ago I had a conversation with a young adult about the credentials he had for a potential mate. He had spent a great deal of time composing a rather detailed list. To his credit he had focused on character traits rather than physical qualities. During the conversation I was reminded of some advice I had given been as a young adult: “Focus on being the right kind of person, rather than finding the right person.” To that I would add something become confident in who you are as a person and your relationship with God.
As for a list, I’m pretty sure most people have a list of the qualities they desire in a spouse and that really isn’t a bad thing. However, I think it is important to distinguish between the essentials and the non-essentials. What things are non-negotiable. For me biggest the non-negotiable was someone who shared my faith. My list only had about 4 or 5 things and the Big Guy met all except one. After 11 1/2 yrs I have realized that one thing was trivial and doesn’t really matter. By focusing on being right person and friendship I have been blessed who an amazing man who far exceeds any list I might have composed.