Lisa Harper said, “Love people the way Jesus does — messy, broken, and real.” It’s a beautiful sentiment, but in practice, it challenges the very foundation of how we often navigate our relationships.
At its core, authentic love makes room for grace. We often define grace as unmerited or undeserved favor, but in the context of a relationship, grace is the oxygen that allows love to breathe. Without it, love becomes suffocating and rigid.
The Trap of Transactional Love
Most of the world operates on a transactional basis. We are taught that if we work hard, we get a paycheck. If we are kind, people will be kind back. We accidentally bring this “if/then” mentality into our hearts: I will love you IF you behave, IF you meet my conditions, or IF you provide what I need. Transactional love is safe and controlled, but it isn’t transformative. It keeps people at arm’s length because they are afraid that if they show their “mess,” the deal will be off.
Living the Message: A Real-World Example
In 2014 after a 2 1/2 year process Lisa adopted Missy, a then very sick 2-year old from Haiti. Missy had both HIV and TB. With a stable home, loving support system and proper medical care Missy’s health improved. Today, Missy is a healthy teenager. Lisa stepped into the mess, refused to treat love as a transaction based on potential health or convenience, and offered grace instead.
The Ultimate Example
Ultimately, we are able to love this way because Jesus first loved us. As 1 John 4:19 (ESV) states, “We love because he first loved us.”
He didn’t wait for us to be cleaned up; He stepped down from heaven directly into our mess. Talk about mess: He was born in a stable. In the world’s eyes, He was born to an unwed teenage mother and raised in an obscure village by ordinary parents. He spent three years as an itinerant teacher surrounded by a group of fishermen, a tax collector, and other unconventional followers. One of His own would betray Him.
In the end, Jesus willingly suffered one of the worst forms of death. He did all of this because we are broken and in need of a Savior. He willingly stepped into our mess so that we might know His grace.
The Dee Zone 