After teaching for over 10 years I have quite a collection of humorous things my students have said or done. Thought I would share a few of my favorites. All names or other identifying information has been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent.
#10 From a college history class:
New England is famous for its soup.
The perchers (sic) perched against satin.
#9 Conversation with a kindergarten student
Student: Teacher, Teacher
Student: Teacher, guess what I’m going to grow a mustache.
Me: Oh Really?
Me: When are you going to do that?
Student: When I become a minister.
#8 Actual conversation with student needing help with a Bible assignment.
Student: Mrs. Herrod, how do you pronounce H-e-r-o-d?
Me: Same way you pronounce H-e-r-r-o-d.
#7 From a history project:
I visited Fire Station #5, it was the first fire station in our town.
#6 One year I taught a middle school class last period. The students had PE the period before. It took most of the class a while to get changed from PE, however I had one student who always beat the others to class. I decided to find out how he got changed so fast.
Me: You sure change fast.
Student: I have a secret trick that makes it faster.
Me: Oh really?
Student: I wear my PE uniform under my school uniform. I put it on at night before I go to bed and put my school uniform over it in the morning. It is faster
#5 In one of my computer classes a student decided to cheat by grabbing another student’s paper off the printer. He scratched out the printed name with a Sharpie and wrote his name on the paper. Then he wanted to know how I knew he cheated. Yep, this generation will eventually be our country’s leaders.
# 4 Conversation during a history class
Student: Have you been to the Alamo?
Student: You know that mall and hotel in front of the Alamo?
Student: Did they really fight (battle) there?
Student: Didn’t the owners of the mall & hotel get mad.
#3 Did you know most 3-hole punches will hold 23 sheets of paper at one time? One day when I had a sub 3 students (all males) decided to find out how many sheets chould be punched at one time. I returned to find a hole punch crammed full of paper on my desk. It seems that it worked for 23 sheets but the 24th was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
#2 One year my husband had his boys Bible class steal the stuffed animals from my classroom. They also stapled Garfield to the wall. Hid Rightie, the elephant, in various places in the classroom. My girls Bible class decided to retrieve the animals. Isn’t stealing a wonderful value to teach ones Bible class? Hmm…
#1 I had a high school student cleaning my white board. After he finished cleaning the board he noticed the fan was dirty.
Student: Hey you want me to clean the fan?
Teacher: Hang on a second (I was helping another student)
Student: OK, I’m going to clean the fan
Teacher: Turn off ……
Student: [Yelling !!!!]
Yes, he sprayed board cleaner into a moving fan. The scary thing is this kid was old enough to drive. I am amazed that any males live to reach the age of 18.